Six weeks ago I went to San Francisco to visit Dr. Layzer, an internationally recognized expert in neurology. My appointment was after lunch, so I went over to the [UCSF] cafeteria for a salad. The place was humming with people deep in medicine. Returning with my forms filled out, I awaited my appointment with Dr. Layzer. What I noticed right away is that the doctor, himself, came out to greet me.

Dr. Layzer questioned me about my symptoms and took notes. Then he asked me to disrobe so he could examine me. First, he examined my tongue and found it had shrunk and was constantly moving in my mouth. Then. he examined my left side. He had a student who looked to be from India with him. He was instructing her in how to examine a patient. Dr. Layzer mentioned that my left side was "acute," meaning it was more sensitive to touch than my right side. He noticed that my left wrist was looser than the right.

Then, Dr. Layzer told me to get dressed and to come into the room where he had asked me questions. When I dressed and sat down with him, and the student, he told me that I had ALS or Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, commonly known as Lou Gerhig's Disease. I shall never forget the shock that I experienced on hearing his words. I was stunned. He took a call and said he was just about done and we parted company. I shook both his hand and the student's and left feeling very depressed. I was going to die. I had, at best two to four years left of life. I thought I had parked in the garage below but I eventually realized it was at another location. I stopped and bought a late. Then I went to a movie to wait for the afternoon traffic in the Bay Area to dissipate. As I was driving home, I was coming down the freeway and had a blowout. Fortunately, I was able to get far enough off the road to safely deal with tire changing. I did not have a jack which made the effort extremely difficult.

I have had a battery of tests because it is very difficult to accurately diagnose ALS. There are many diseases which mimic the signs, most of which are treatable. I have had electrodiagnostic tests, including electomyography (EMG) during which the doctor shocks you and then sticks needles in your limbs to test for nerve damage. ALS is a disease where the muscles stop working and the patient eventually ends up on an artificial breathing source and dies of pneumonia. Then I had thyroid and parathyroid hormone levels examined and was tested for the presence of heavy metals. Then I had a very painful spinal tap where the doctor went into my spine too high and eventually lowered his aim and hit the spinal fluid, which was clear and uninfected. Now I am to have MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) of the cervical spine and the lower back.

This entire ordeal has been hard on my family. My lady friend, Jamie Black, is in pain because she will lose someone she loves. The same is true for my daughter , Maureen, and my son, Joseph. It is very hard upon both my parents who are in their late seventies and early eighties. It has also been difficult for my sister, Joey Bruce.

The only thing I can say about my life is that it has been full. I have been to many countries, including all of Central America and much of Europe. I have studied Anglo-Irish writers in Dublin, Ireland for six months. I have had a good life.

We, Jamie, Joey, and I will tour Ireland by car for two weeks in January. Then, Jamie and I will tour England, Scotland, and Europe for another six weeks.